Chuck E. Cheezi Got Served...In Yo Face!!!

Like a slice of pizza at an 8 year-old’s birthday party, Chikezie Eze got his ass served last night on American Idol.

Now he can start thinking about what his next move is, instead of being a “poor man’s Ruben Studdard…Speaking of poor men, where is Ruben Studdard?

Oh yeah, Ruben is singing this season’s exit song, I hope that works out for him…Damn, I’m SOOORRRRRRY, No I don’t, Damn, I’m SOOOOOOORRRY, and all because of, Damn, I’m SOOOOOOORRRY, that stupid song he did, Damn, I’m SOOOOOOORRRY, “Sorry 2004”…I’m sure he is sorry he has not hit the charts since 2004.

I also cannot see Chikezie hitting the charts either…he is so arrogant and thinks he is so great! Hello, you lost to a little Asian girl who was sick! You are not the great. And why did you drop your last name? What? Are you like, Prince or Cher, now? How pretentious.

Ramiele was off her game, David Archuleta was really over the top with that song about love and voices and animals and whatever the hell else it was about…I swear I was waiting for Simba and Nala to bust out and strangely painted gay dancers with animals on their heads to prance around the stage while he was lifted atop a rock and holding the new Lion King to the jungle.

Syesha should not have been in the bottom 3, the girl has the personality of a door knob, but she can sing. She did that song justice.

Is David Cook cheating? I think so…that song, the remake was NOT a hit in the 80’s, Chris Cornell covered it in 2006. He should have put on the sequin glove and groped Archuleta, like Michael Jackson would have done.

Carly really does look really 'big" from when we first saw her! If her face was any fuller, it would spill over.

Oh yeah....and can we just keep Brooke White still? Someone should put the bitch in a full body cast…NO dancing for her, it makes me more uncomfortable than a drunken, closeted gay guy at a Thanksgiving dinner standing up and saying he has an announcement to make.

Oh my good gravy and Baby Jesus, what was that? What was Kristy Lee Cook singing? OMG, I was waiting for a montage of a bald eagle spliced in with a Ford truck and flags and fireworks and little children at a 4th of July picnic....Smart move, bitch. No judge is gonna put down that song...I could see Harvey Levin and TMZ urinating on themselves with happiness and the next day's headline would have read , "Simon Cowell: Un-American Idle". I swear this is all I saw while she was singing, Kristy Lee Liberty!

I loved Danny Noriega sitting with David Hernandez last night...wonder if they are dating... OMG, Danny’s next single, I’m in love wit’ a Strippa (featuring Missy Elliott, Christina Aguilera, & Li’l Kim) The Timbaland Ultra- Likin’ it- ish remix.

Lost: Meet Kevin Johnson. Kevin Johnson, Meet spoilers.

Oh, what an episode. The last new Lost episode for a month did not disappoint. We picked up where we left off, finding out that Michael indeed is Ben's spy on the freighter. While some people may have felt let down by this reveal, I loved it. It's MICHAEL, people! The same man who risked everything to get his son off the island...back once again. The same man who killed 2 innocent people (does anyone really mind that he killed Ana Lucia?) to release Ben from the Lostie's captivity. And, lucky Michael, he gets to explain himself to Sayid.

Sayid: Hello, Michael.
Michael: Not now man.
Sayid: Yes, right now. Why are you on this boat?
Michael: I'm here to die.

Sayid, shockingly, was not very pleased with Michael's return.
The episode, told in one long, uninterrupted flashback, showed us that Michael did in fact make it off the island. There was no happily ever story, however, for he was separated from his son, Walt, who didn't want to see him since Michael had confessed he killed Ana Lucia and Libby. Michael, depressed and lonely, tries again and again to kill himself with no avail.
It was the return of Tom, aka Mr. Friendly, that explained to Michael that his work on the island was not done, and as such, he cannot die. (Was Mr. Friendly lying? Is that why Jack couldn't kill himself in last season's finale? Comment!) Mr. Friendly, who was getting pretty friendly with a younger guy, convinced Michael to go back, to save the very people on the island he had left behind. Tom also reveals to Michael that it is Mr. Widmore, Penny's dad, that staged the fake plane crash. So, Ben's pinning this on Widmore, and Widmore is pinning it on Ben...who do we believe? Michael has orders to kill everyone on the boat, but only after he tries to do just that by attempting to detonate a bomb which creepily reveals 'Not Yet', Ben tells him to compile a list (sounding familiar?) of the good people on the freighter. Which leads me to believe that since John killed Naomi, who seems to be one of the good people, is the island punishing him? Can John no longer see Jacob for this reason?
Back on the island, John Locke explained to his followers why Ben had been let free, but people were not convinced, and again, were not pleased to learn of the return of Michael. Ben's pretty dramatic, claiming that the people on the boat have orders to kill everyone once they have Ben. As usual, it seems like Ben is planning something, and is perhaps preparing for the war that has been hyped all season long, for he convinces Alex, Karl, and Rousseau to leave for a safe haven. In true Lost fashion, the trip would not be safe at all, and Rousseau and Karl are killed. Was this all part of Ben's plan? I'm inclined to think so....
Back on the freighter, Sayid is proving to be hard to please. Upon learning that Michael is working for Ben, Sayid gets pretty upset. The great irony in all this is that we know that Sayid is working for Benjamin Linus in the future, and it seems like we were all thinking, "Oh, honey...if only you knew", as Sayid dragged Michael into the captain's station and essentially ratted him out. Anyone else think the captain, besides being really cute, was pretty nonchalant to hear that the traitor on the boat was none other than Kevin Johnson, deck hand? And that, my friends, is where we are left off, with a return of April 24...I think we'll be foaming at the mouth for new episodes by then, Lost withdrawal is not a pretty sight.

Random observations:
1. I loved Sayid's reaction to finding out that Michael was Ben's man...it was too perfect, since we know what happens in the future. How it happens, we are still unsure. Does the boat get to the island because of Sayid's actions? Does everyone die, as Ben suggests? Is this why Sayid feels guilty? It's possible, but honestly, who even knows what this show is going to give us!
2. Between Sayid, Desmond, and the captain, Michael was not looking too good. Superficial, I know.
3. Is Michael's mom the same woman that asks Miles the ghost whisperer to come get rid of her grandson's ghost? Will we ever see Walt again?
4. I fear for Desmond...I swear, the man is going to die. I'm calling it now: Penny gets to the freighter...her and Desmond are reunited at last...Desmond gets shot by Daddy Widmore. It will break my heart, but that's how I think it's going to happen.

Did I miss anything? Am I insane for loving this show so much?

One Tree Kat I mean Hill

Okay, so i am obsessed. I am obsessed with OTH. This week's ep was out of the park. I feel emotionally connected to these people and their 100th episode. Hope everyone knows, they are already picked up for next year, meaning i will be even more psychotic. I dont know why. I just fucking love it. Tonight the 90210 that introduced John Sears was on and I was like DONT TALK TO DAN SCOTT. I love P. Sawyer, and B. Davis. I love Skillz and Nathan (even though he is a dumbass) and Jamie and now Lilly. They cornered the market on cute freakin kid actors.

Seriously people, i need someone to tell me why I love these bitches and hate Lucas and Lindsay (but she did look good on wedding day). Now I am all about the second coming of John Sears/Dan. Can anyone say that moment when he had nannycarrie by the throat was not incredible??????? Oh, at least this Lindsay thing will be over soon. I need to know others are obsessed...Anyone??? please comment to make me feel sane, lol. Or to tell us something we should add to the blog. We welcome suggestions.

So Ovah, Overmyer...

So what will happen now with "vote for the worst" now that the King and Queen...did I see King? I meant 2 Queens got booted from American Idol?

Last night, Amanda Overmyer got booted from AI after her craptastical performance of "Back in the USSR". There was not a dry eye in any biker bar across America...Teenyboppers 2- Bikers 0

So she sounded like a chainsaw that had been smoking Marlboro reds for 20 years, so what? So she looked like husky Cruella Deville that had had too much whiskey and fell out of Janis Joplin's closet, so what? Yes, her hair looked like a skunk had decided to nest on her head, big deal! She was fun to make fun of, people. Idol has gone down hill since Danny Noreiga left...and I'm not likin' it!

Also shocking enough was that Carly Smithson and Kristy Lee Cook were also in the bottom 3. If you were keep score of the "back talkers", Amanda said that she didn't think she should sing a ballad and that she wanted to be that cool, rock chick people wanted to buy a ticket to go see.

Kristy said that Simon knew that she could blow him away.

Carly made that horrible analogy about the blackbird, the broken wing and the music industry.

The only one that was missing was spastic ballerina Brooke White.

I'll miss you, Amanda...who the hell am I gonna make fun of now?

She was an easy target! See?

OMG, they killed Kenny!...no they didn't but they almost killed Big E! The Bastards

Just when I thought MTV could not get any more disgusting…the floor collapses and I fall deeper into a lower level of MTV hell. If the devil wears Prada then he also watches MTV.

The channel that brought you spoiled 15 year old girls bitching, whining, and crying about their sweet 16 party, the channel that introduced us to Heidi and Spencer…I want to kick MTV in the nuts for that one…and helped celebrities show off their “cribs” and then pimped people’s rides, almost televised the first reality show death on camera also.

Last night on the Gauntlet, the Vets almost killed teammate Eric…LMAO. Yes, they did. First, CT had to help Eric swim a half mile and I don’t know how the fat ass did not take CT down with him…CT and the rest of the Vet douche bags then had to run chained together…. I am sorry, I am laughing but I found it hilarious the way CT was dragging Eric like a ball and chain on his leg…it was like he was chained to an elephant that had been shot for his ivory tusks…Finally, Brad tries to get the team to stop because Eric is throwing up on himself, I am surprised he hasn’t shit himself at this point…LOL…only to be yelled at and told off by the entire team…couple minutes later Eric collapses on the ground and all he can hear and see is his team yelling at him to get up…Um, where are the producers with the medics at this point? It was the worst thing I have seen on TV since “The Moment of Truth” episode where that Hot NY cop had been cheated on by his skanky bleach blonde wife…

At any rate…I will play the rest in FFWD, Ambulance and medics finally come, Rookies pass the Vets, medics take Eric, Rookies have huge lead, Vets catch up, Vets win…Um, no they didn’t they left a teammate behind…they all bitch about not getting $20,000. Gross.

American Idol- 03/18/08- Spoilers dumb ass...

Beatles for a 2nd week in a row was ridiculous…I mean have these producers no respect for the Beatles than to have the likes of Kristy Lee Cook and Syesha Mercado butcher these talented men’s work! Syesha Mercado…yikes!

Amanda - I was not loving her last night at all…girl, open your mouth when you sing, try it once or twice, she sounded like a drill going into a screaming cat…and I disagree with the judges she should not take a chainsaw to a ballad…she does not have a voice for a ballad. That would be horrendous....hmmm, but maybe that is what they want…to get rid of her by giving her bunk advice. I think I just cracked Simon and Paula's dastardly plan. Sang: “Back in the USSR”

Kristy - I do not like Kristy at all, and I usually like country girls but something about her rubs me the wrong way…what was up with everyone talking back to the judges yesterday, started with Amanda and almost all the contestants did…or else felt like they had to defend themselves. Just shut up and take it. Jeez. Sang: “You’ve Got to Hide Your Love”

David A -I hate the kid and his dad…come on, a grown man picking on a little girl? That is just sick. If you didn’t know, Vote for the worst and TMZ report that David Archuleta’s dad was busy while his son on stage on Star Search…he was harassing and intimidating the other contestant’s…yes, little boys and little girls…he had to be kicked off the set. Pig…and his son looks like am imp from Lord of the Rings or Never Ending Story or some shit. Sang: “The Long and Winding Road”

Michael - I have to take Dramamine when I watch this guy sing…he makes me nauseous, with all the back and forth and back and forth swaying! I wish he would stop trying to be like Michael Hutchence and Jim Morrison. Seriously, dude…you are making me dizzy with all the moving around and the singing was horrendous. Sang: “A Day in the Life”

Brooke - Hated it! Hated her! Hated the dress! Hated her excuses! Hate hate hate! And her dancing made her look like she was having a seizure…all that jerking around…it made me uncomfortable…like "Girl, you know you are dancing bad…just stop…no really, stop right now!" She reminded me of one of those videos from youtube where people are getting attacked by bees or something and they are running around flailing their arms and screaming. That’s exactly what she looked like…well, if she ever has a kid…we know what reality show she can go on next, Lifetime’s “Your Mama Don’t Dance” or is it can’t dance? Either way, the bitch SHOULD NEVER dance again. As a matter of fact, remember what that crazy lady did with the sledgehammer to that author's legs in the movie, "Misery"...someone should put her out of her misery. Sang: “Here Comes the Sun”


David C – It was ok…he used one of those things that those people that have emphysema use to talk and Paula said he was ready to do a Geico commercial…drunken bitch…another thing, his hair bothers me, have you ever noticed that the front is just an extension from the hair in the back of his head…I bet you his hairline is receding so far back that if you lift up that hair…it will look like his forehead stars in the back of his ears. Sang: “Day Tripper”

Carly - I swear all she needed was some curlers in her hair and that shirt dress thing would have looked like one of the house dresses my grandma used to wear in the 70's…I was waiting for Bea Arthur to open a door and hear, "…and then there's Maude" It was horrendous…What is up in the wardrobe department this season? Are there no gay men there or what? That song she picked was so awful and gloomy…it reminded me of that Edgar Allen Poe poem, “The Raven” and I wish that I could hear this bitch, nevermore! Sang: Black Bird

It reminded me of something like this:

Jason- He is so cheesy…something about his face bothers me…he looks like a muppet or something. He looks like he is always so like vapid and not there….like a Stepford kid except with dreads…maybe he’s a pothead, who knows but I hated the whole thing. What was up with the whole French and English thing? I felt like it should have had subtitles like Sun and Jin talk on “Lost” Sang: Michelle

Syesha - I actually liked it…it did show off her voice…but did we have to know that you had all that cleavage? Come on girl…a little class. That damned wardrobe department needs a gay in there…and if they have one…a better one, one with taste. Sang: “Yesterday”

Chickezie - I could not hate Chuck E. Cheezie more even if he was David Archuleta or his father. Next! OMG, before you guy...let's talk about the harmonica! WHY? WHY? and WHO? Who told him to do that!? It was horribly, horrifically, horrific! It this worst thing I have seen since I saw a clip of "Keeping up with Kardashians" and the worst I heard since the one time when I lived on South Beach there was a cat that was in heat and lived in the back alley under my bedroom window. Sang" "She's a Woman"

Ramiele - I did not think she did that well at all, I hated it even. Her voice did not suit the song and I normally love her. I agreed that she needs to sing big like Dusty Springfield. Also, why oh why that hat? Which one of you bitches did it? Who tell me?! Which one of you in the wardrobe department let her near the hat rack!?

I am now, not rooting for anyone…just hoping some people lose before other I guess…and the contestants need to stop talking back. That bothers me so much. Makes me want to send this chick after them....I know she scares the shit out of me....



Great now I am not going to be able to go to sleep...LOL